Okay, I think I’m at a point where I’m ready to publicly acknowledge my feminist intuition. No, I’m not talking bra burning (lawd knows the support is much appreciated), or setting up all female communes and resorting to sperm banks for pro-creation. But I have always been and am significantly drawn to the relevance and success of women in society.
But can I be honest with you? A big part of me feels feminism has misled a lot of women. Gender equality got misunderstood. The consequences of which are now in effect – from malign ageism to sexism – most women are battling with a conflicting desire to fulfil their intellectual ambition, whilst succumbing to a sexually inspired notion of beauty. Working mum versus stay at home mamma. Brains versus beauty. Can you really have it all? Yes, but just not at the same time.
Men and women are not only physically different but emotionally so also. I think it was very much nature’s intention for us to bring alternative qualities to the table. That’s not to say the values women bring are inferior to those of our male counterparts. They’re just different.
So it excites me when I see women across the board raising awareness to the issues relevant to them at various points of ‘woman’s life journey’. Take broadcasting veteran Selina Scott’s recent dossier to the BBC challenging the corporation’s slow clear out of the ‘old brigade’ (note departures of news readers Moira Stuart and Anna Ford, TV presenter Arlene Phillips. Or the recent launch of the GetSET Blog, whereby alongside Mattel, Barbie profiled women working as minorities in male dominated spheres such as; science, technology, invention and so on.
Ageism and male dominated professions aren’t of direct relevance to me right now, but that’s not to say that they won’t one day be.
What do you think, can women have it all and what does feminism mean to you – men and women – in 2010?
I often feel feminism did me a diservice. All I wanted to be when I grew up was fall in love, marry a good man and raise his children. But I was told that would be a ‘waste’. So I worked hard at school, got my First Class honours degree and a good job.
Now, I’ve found a good man, and had his children, but my good degree and good job make me the bread winner. So I can’t stay at home and raise his children. I’ve sacrificed my dreams.
Of course, a real feminist would say “Sack the job, sod the bills, follow your dreams.” But reality bites, so I do the daily grind and the nursery nurses teach my children how to count to ten and eat with a spoon.
On a slightly different note, I think Selina Scott has got a cheek. I’m old enough to remember the launch of GMTV when Selina was a young, beautiful blonde 20-something. It launched her career and opened doors. She wasn’t too fussed about the plight of the 50-somethings then. She was happy to take her seat on the breakfast sofa, a bubbly young thing to RIVAL the harsh matronly look of Moira and Co on the BBC. If anything you could suggest that she started the trend of youth and beauty over experience. But then I didn’t watch the documentary so maybe she acknowledged this.
But all in all, I’m glad of the opportunities equality has provided me. I’m glad that other women burst through some of the boundaries for me (including my own mother). But I wish someone had said it was okay not to walk over them.
Rebecca I’m not sure a real feminist would say “sack the job and sod the bills,” they might insinuate that pre-feminist ideals fuelled your childhood dream. That in fact by working you are following your true feminist dream?
And with regards to Selina, I think she teaches the best lesson of all, if it can happen to her, then God help the rest of us! I personally, am becoming tired and bored of seeing the same fixed expression slapped on the faces of our botox obsessed youthful presenters.
Women can sometimes be their own worst enemies. I think it’s fear of failing and being over shadowed by a female counterpart that fuels the ‘walk over’. It sooo shouldn’t be the case. After all I am my Sister’s keeper, am I not?